Got a toothbrush?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
