no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
