Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
now i know why i became what i already was.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
