that's an acceptable place to lick
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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