I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
only if we run a train.
done.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
