I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
