ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
