i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
