so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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