Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im having a threesome with these popsicles
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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