If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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