when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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