ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
