apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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