At least make sure they are 18
Why
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
