How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
