she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
