Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
