Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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