Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
