My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
