question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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