He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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