I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
