Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
