We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
