GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
