WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
