It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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