i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
