ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
