So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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