Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
