So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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