So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
