rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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