Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Apparently you make a good broom.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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