my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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