dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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