I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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