no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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