Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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