your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
