Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
