I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
