Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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