Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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