HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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