In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
