Where did you get a picture of my penis
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
