I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize