i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
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Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
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Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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