Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
