just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
