i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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