Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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