i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
