Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
