he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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