? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
