youre lurking in front of me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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