please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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