he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
