last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
