she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
